angelicpity:

My fetishes include men giving me large sums of money and then never, ever talking to me again

zackisontumblr:

if you ever have children you could introduce them to people by saying hey wanna see what i made

illbeyourfavouritedrug:

illbeyourfavouritedrug:

I HAVE RAZOR BURN LIKE ALL ON THE BOTTOM OF MY LEGS NEAR MY ANKLES AND IT WAS REALLY ITCHY SO I PUT VICTORIA’S SECRET LOTION ON IT AND NOW IT BURNS LIKE FUCK HPW SO I MAKE IT STOP???? HELP ME

thank u

lilbunnygirl:

*gives you a lap dance for curly fries*

how do people approach their crush i don’t even have the guts to ask for an extra ketchup in mcdonalds

gooutfighting:

now taking applications for my gang, please have your mum sign your permission slip and return it in by next wednesday

shavingryansprivates:

hannabarbarian:

basketball is so stupid like okay cool you can breathe in poison gas for 20 minutes and then die what’s the big deal

i don’t think that’s how you play basketball